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One Cobble at a Time

February 20th, 2014

Sandra Tayler's Journal

responsible woman

A cobble by itself is just a small stone, but when many of them lay together they create a path . My life is made up of many discrete parts. I have to find ways to fit them all into place so that I can continue to journey where I desire to go. This journal records some of the cobbles that create my path.


February 20th, 2014

A sign on the table in the middle of the meeting circle admonished us all that the words spoken there were not to be shared elsewhere. I will honor that, because it is a vitally important part of what makes those meetings safe. But what I felt during the meeting is mine to tell.

I walked into the wrong room first, before I discovered the right one down a hall. I’d nearly not come. I’d nearly gone home because I made a wrong turn trying to find it. I found the wrong classroom. Then I walked into a meeting where I hoped to be anonymous and immediately recognized someone other than the friend who had invited me. It was a women’s support group meeting focused on many issues, including perfectionism and anxiety. I went because my friend felt inspired to invite me and then the thought would not leave me. Go to the meeting. So I went, even though I felt awkward and out of step with these other women who already knew the format. It was a meeting patterned after addiction recovery meetings. There are aspects of that pattern which felt strange to me.

I began to cry almost the minute I walked into the room. I can’t quite say why, except that I knew this was a very good place, a place of healing. I was there because my Father in Heaven knew how much I’ve been struggling with weighty emotional matters in the last year. He knew I needed to be healed. He knew that six weeks of sickness had buried my spiritual senses under a layer of depression which had congealed. He sent my friend to me and then sent me to that meeting in order to crack through that layer. It was scraped away and I came home able to see my beloved family members clearly. I was more peaceful than I have been in a long time.

I can’t say why the meeting had that effect on me. It happened separate from the words that were spoken, none of which I can really remember now. But I could see when the words of one woman describing her experiences healed or helped another woman. I don’t know that I’ll make attending support meetings a regular part of my life. I do know that I really needed that one on that day. I also know that I needed to bring home the manual they offered and that I needed to write about the experience, because there may be someone else who needs this sort of support and they need to know where to go.

The group meets on Wednesday nights at 7:30 in the Mountain View high school seminary building just west of campus. All women are welcome.

I came home with peace of heart and some direct inspirations about how my hours need to be arranged in the next weeks. I feel so much lighter.

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