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One Cobble at a Time

Giving Gifts

Sandra Tayler's Journal

responsible woman

A cobble by itself is just a small stone, but when many of them lay together they create a path . My life is made up of many discrete parts. I have to find ways to fit them all into place so that I can continue to journey where I desire to go. This journal records some of the cobbles that create my path.

Giving Gifts

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responsible woman

There is a formula for gift giving. It is not mathematical and requires quite a bit of attention or intuition, but it is very real. The formula is Effort times Interest divided by Expectedness. In other words the perfect gift is one which fits the interests of the recipient, demonstrates effort on the part of the giver, and is unexpected. Unfortunately the expectedness variable is the one that trips people up on holidays and birthdays. The more someone hopes for a gift the less likely they are to be pleased with what they receive.

I was thinking about this today as it was my oldest child’s 16th birthday. Some birthdays weigh more heavily in the psyche than others and I felt some pressure to try to give my daughter a solidly good day. On the other hand, I have never felt like Bigger and Flashier is the same as Better. So I needed to facilitate her having a good day in ways that fit her and our family without making a big production out of it. I made a special before-school trip to the store to buy cheescake for her to take to school and share. She’s been wanting to take cheescake for months, but kept asking last minute when running to get it was a huge inconvenience to me. I handed over the box to her and she knew that even though I won’t always rearrange my days for her convenience, sometimes I will. She loved it and all was well.

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  • Happy belated birthday to Kiki! Sounds like cheesecake was the perfect gift.

    Yummmm - now I want cheesecake. :-)
  • Happy birthday, Kiki! mmm, cheesecake.
  • Holy Cow!

    I shouldn't be so suprised that you have a 16 year old... I mean, my son is 13 and will be 14 this year (like yours : ). But, Wow! 16!? My memory of her is as a baby and little girl. I can't even imagine what she looks like at 16!
    Has it really been soooo long?
    (could you e-mail a pic of your family to me?)

    Happy 16th Birthday Kiki!
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