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One Cobble at a Time

Bedtime fears

Sandra Tayler's Journal

responsible woman

A cobble by itself is just a small stone, but when many of them lay together they create a path . My life is made up of many discrete parts. I have to find ways to fit them all into place so that I can continue to journey where I desire to go. This journal records some of the cobbles that create my path.

Bedtime fears

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responsible woman

When I hear “I’m scared” at bedtime, what my children are really saying is “Mom, I have unresolved emotions about things that are going on in my life and I need you to spend an hour helping me sort through them.” Unfortunately 10 pm is not an ideal time to be sitting up talking with a child who has to get up at 6:45 am the next morning. I would much rather talk these things through on a quiet afternoon, but they aren’t thinking their hard thoughts then. Afternoon is full of bright distractions.

Patch and Gleek both are experiencing higher than normal levels of bedtime fear. I know exactly what the emotional tangles are. I just have to find time to help the kids come to terms with them. Hopefully on a day when I’m not quite so worn out myself.

Mirrored from onecobble.com.

  • When this happens at our house, I say, "Let's talk about this tomorrow, okay?" because I see it as a combination of a very sophisticated bedtime avoidance strategy combined with an exaggeration of normal emotions due to fatigue. Usually, things are much easier to sort out the next day, and often whatever it is will have resolved overnight. If not, we sort it out in the light of day.
    • I use a similar strategy. Unfortunately I'm horrible about following through the next day. So I end up with a whole row of bedtimes where I keep saying "we'll talk tomorrow." Then there is guilt.
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