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One Cobble at a Time

Grouchy

Sandra Tayler's Journal

responsible woman

A cobble by itself is just a small stone, but when many of them lay together they create a path . My life is made up of many discrete parts. I have to find ways to fit them all into place so that I can continue to journey where I desire to go. This journal records some of the cobbles that create my path.

Grouchy

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responsible woman

Some days things which are normally easy, seem impossible. Some days commonplace things drive me crazy. It is part of being human. The hard part for me is when I am having one of those days and a child is also having one of those days. I hear the rants and moans about schoolwork and my first instinct is to do damage control. Then I stop myself and spin in the little circle where I get frustrated that I have to care about their work. And I worry about co-dependent behaviors. All of this is especially frustrating when things have been fine for awhile. Before we achieved “doing pretty good” things were “relatively awful” and the back of my brain gibbers in terror that we’ll slide back down into the pit.

I need to chant my new mantra “I’m sorry this is hard for you.” and then practice letting them struggle and sort it out themselves. Much easier said than done. I just have to remember that while sometimes rescues are really necessary, if I always come to the rescue I rob my children of their chances to triumph. I just wish it was easier to tell when to rescue and when to say “I’m sorry this is hard for you” while letting them struggle.

Mirrored from onecobble.com.

  • We had a bad homework night today. I must remember, "I'm sorry this is hard for you."
    • It is a newly learned phrase for me. I had an epiphany a couple of weeks ago. It was a variant of an epiphany I've had several times but keep forgetting. I realized that hard does not necessarily mean bad. The fact that my kid is struggling with school does not mean that I need to fix anything. Sometimes the struggle is the point.

      It is still hard to watch, particularly when I can so clearly see an easier path.
      • I keep having to relearn at every stage of development not to try to make everything in life easy for my son. It's so hard to watch them muddle through lessons we already learned.
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